Fear and Freedom – the paradox and duality of illusions

What if fear and freedom are both just illusions? Construed entirely in our minds where they are constantly dancing together. They are, like anything else, decisions we make about a meaning we give to a situation. We make those meanings instinctively based on our experiences and often past hurts. That in itself means that they are very limiting because our instinctive mind cannot construct something it hasn’t either observed or experienced. It has become my obsession to expand it beyond its limitations to see what is possible and I am taking you with me for the ride.

FEAR

I have witnessed a very amusing scene on my favourite beach the other day - a dog biting a wave whilst making sure he was keeping his paws safely away from the water. It looked like it was his first time on the beach and he didn't understand what that wet frothy thing that was seemingly trying to get him was. He seemed so scared of the calm slow waves coming towards him, about 1 cm in height, all apprehensive due to the unknown “danger” that it made me think of our “fear addiction”.

That wave appeared as danger to the dog as it was unfamiliar, uncertain and unknown to him. The concept of “uncertainty” is almost like a place. It can be seen, perceived or felt as scary or comforting if you like variety. But doesn’t the comforting sense only come from familiarity? Can you therefore feel safe in the circumstances that are unknown? In the midst of uncertainty? The answer seems almost too simple: Trust. Because without trust there is always inevitable fear.

Trust can seem like an unattainable gem. But what if trust is simply having the courage to believe? What if that trust simply means trust in yourself? Trust that there is nothing you cannot handle. Nothing you can’t move through. Trust in your strength, integrity, adaptivity, creativity, resourcefulness.

So how do you create safety in the space that has been created to guard you, to keep you in a cage to protect you as much as possible? Especially if you got hurt over and over again whenever you tried climbing out of that cage. Or maybe that is the wrong question because life in fear is also consistently being hurt by your own mind, or rather feeling the artificial pain as if it was real. From now on, I will think about that wave and how it is the perception, the illusion of our mind reminding myself that emotional pain and fear don't exist outside of us but only on the stage of our mind - and only because we let it choose a place for all the props and actors on that stage and we forget we have the power to rewrite the script or at the very least, take charge of the current one.

FREEDOM

Do you think you are truly ready for Freedom?

We look at the bird and we think: Oh yes, this openness and lack of any attachment is Freedom. I want that. Why is it then that this sort of lack of any attachments scares us and we do everything we can to attach, identify, possess, control and then we’re surprised that we can’t “capture” Freedom. The very contradiction of terms.

Is Freedom therefore attainable to us in the way we live? Is Freedom only available when you lose it all? Or can you have freedom in passion, belonging, unconditional love, integrity? Freedom from self judgement and judgement of others. In not needing anyone to behave a certain way for you to be happy. Freedom to know that you can change your beliefs just like you can change your focus and therefore that view in your mind’s eye. Freedom of knowing that nothing we perceive is the “truth” but simply a story we tell ourselves through either experience, desire or fear. It’s simply a momentary perception in any given moment.

I believe freedom can be found in that unconditional love of yourself, of people and to the world with all its seasons, with the storms as well as the sunshine. In allowing things to come and to go. In acceptance, surrender and letting go. Freedom means to not resist, force or manipulate. In setting intentions as opposed to expectations, allowing for the freedom of the unfolding and the openness to the unknown.

So let me ask you again: are you ready to let go of everything that is holding you captive? The route to Freedom can be a painful one and it takes more courage than you ever envisaged – when we have fused ourselves with fear for so long, letting go of it feels like letting go of the only certainty in our lives.

For Freedom isn’t carelessness, it’s quite the opposite. It is the place where you can experience anything, be anything, the openness of possibilities all around you. No need for anything or anyone to be a certain way, to need for things to be unchangeable. Complete acceptance of what is and what will be. Freedom of being unapologetically yourself.

But you must first have courage to fly. And I love nothing more than working with people and seeing that light come on inside of them. To see their uncertainty turn into hope and then into excitement and certainty. Certainty that there is nothing they cannot move through as long as they allow themselves to be free to be themselves.

I will leave you with my poem. Because sometimes poetry is the easiest way to express what the rational mind cannot. It is also a way of expression where you are completely exposed yet people who read it never see what is right in front of them because it evokes something in them based on their own desires, fears and experiences. It is a way of hiding in plain sight – which is why writing a poem to yourself or to one of your greatest sources of pain, fear or desire is one of the practices I like to give to people I coach. It teaches you how to fly even if you don’t feel like you’ve got your wings just yet.

I would love to hear what Freedom is to you – you can comment below or email me on snowliontransformations@gmail.com or tag me in your post @snowliontransformations.

And if you’re ready to take your flight, book your FREE non-committal discovery call with me here - https://www.snowliontransformations.com/book-online. Because coaching is simply learning to fly.

Article by Agnieszka Bania

© Agnieszka Bania 2022